The journey to Delhi was just like before. If you meant the ride, the people, the roads, the sights- everything that really didn't mean a thing to her. On the outside nothing had changed in the journey compared to what it had been last year. But on the inside nothing would ever be the same. She knew that. Maybe he did too. She couldn't tell. But she knew that even if it did bring back memories to him, he didn’t really care. By the look on his face, she could tell that he never had. They’d been surprisingly close for him not to care. They’d been terrifyingly close for her to still not be over him.
She looked outside the window as memories flashed past, with the music blaring from her i-pod trying to block out the thoughts that came with those memories.
She stole a glance to her right. He was just inches away from her. But they could’ve been strangers by the way they were behaving.
How things had gone from lonely to good to great to confusing to complicated to bad and back to lonely- she had no clue.
And yet, every moment they’d spent together was carved in minute detail in her mind. She couldn’t get rid of them as easily as he’d gotten rid of her. She wasn’t as lucky as him to forget everything.
They were still miles away from their destination. But she was looking for reasons to prolong the ride. Because the thought of spending 3 whole days together as though everything was ok, was a little too difficult.
Not that she couldn’t do it though. She’d practiced the smile to unbelievable perfection; and yet believable enough to fool everybody. So much so that she’d even begun to fool him. Because the tiny speck of hope that she held was beginning to disappear. That slight chance that he might even pretend to care was slipping from her fingers with alarming speed.
Not that she had any control over his actions or thoughts or decisions. Far from it.
She wanted to get this trip over with as soon as possible, and with as much invisibility as she could manage. She wanted to get back home to her life where she could pretend he didn’t exist. She didn’t wish him any harm. She just wanted to get away unharmed. And she longed to get away from the city that had brought them closer.
The city outside her window came into focus- the city she had begun to love. Every street had fascinated her. Every monument had seemed to amaze her. Every person on the road held a unique charm with their own story. Even little things like the clear skies and soft gentle breeze seemed different and better. And silly as it may sound, it was because he’d made it seem different.
But as she looked out now, it all looked drab and lifeless. They just stood there, all grey and morose. After being lively and colourful last year, it hit her with an intensity she couldn’t understand. And even though she knew her imagination was getting the worst of her, it was as though everything glared at her and mocked her for her foolishness. That she was stupid enough to let one guy change the world for her. That she could let a few moments spent with him change the way she felt about herself and about life.
Right now, she hated herself for letting him ruin this trip for her. She’d made up her mind to ignore him as much as possible and she had been doing just that over the past month. It wasn’t as difficult as she’d thought. He ignored her just as well and it made things easier.
Then why did she hate the fact that he didn’t speak to her???
They were about to reach their stop. As she got ready to get her bags down, her phone beeped. She paused with her suitcase in one hand and pulled out her phone from her pocket. It was an unknown number. But she knew his number by-heart to recognize it.
She assumed it was one of those group messages that he’d sent which she usually ignored. But she still checked it.
It wasn’t a forwarded message.
He told her he missed her…
No comments:
Post a Comment