The Rains

I'll never understand the hold that Bombay has over me. Having had my own share of 'Mumbai experiences', I'm no stranger to the way she works. And yet, every time I'm here, it's like my first time.

Each of my trips to Bombay have been monumental. And still, it's the non-monumental things that make it special.

I'll tell you about my life-changing moments in a bit. But before that, let me begin with this time's trip.

Wedding shopping. That in itself should be self explanatory. From my ivory coloured wedding dress to the yellow n orange confetti--everything that'll be making my wedding day special begins from here: Mumbai.

Walking from Metro Cinema across Lady Willington Building, we made our first stop at Cross Maidan at 8.30am. By then, one of the first monsoon showers had already made its presence.

Now, knowing me, I took every step on the cobbled street with a cringe and lifting my jeans so as not to let even a spot of muck get on my jeans. But, and I've said this before, if I ever have to like the rains, it'll be in Mumbai. Those who live here and battle floods, traffic jams, power cuts and just plain shut down, must be raising their brow and thinking: Sure. She spends one rainy day on Marine Drive and falls in love with Mumbai rains. And I agree with them. But then again, I don't have to live here so why not focus only on the good.

So any way. Its drizzling here and I love it. I love the smells. And I love that crazy shaped cloud hovering over the Bombay Stock Exchange. And the kitten taking shelter under the grotto isn't too bad either. And for the first time, I don't mind my frizzy hair that refuses to be tamed in the humid Bombay weather.

So, where was I? Right. The rains in Mumbai. Where I sit right now typing out this post on my phone, it has stopped raining and we're waiting for Crawford market to open and for my future in-laws to come from Kandivali. Sitting on the sidewalk, I see a man in his DHL uniform light a candle and another guy putting away his big rainbow coloured umbrella. The sights, sounds and the smells remind me of the last time I was here in the rains. It was a month after I'd joined ToI and I'd been sent on a 3-day induction programme to Mumbai. And put up at the Babulnath guesthouse near Girghaum Chowpatti, I thought I could spend hours watching it rain over the sea. And that was the first time I'd ever loved the rains.

You know...now that I think about it, I know why I hate the monsoon so much. Apart from the obvious reasons, I think it makes me nostalgic. People call me unromantic because I dislike the rains. But I ain't. No one could be more romantic at heart than me. Its just that I've never had a 'romantic' moment in the rain...Not to say I've never imagined or hoped for one. But the rains remind me of happier times. Of moments that seem to be of another lifetime. And of relationships gone sour. It reminds me that I used to be happy once. And I crave for that every day. And may be that's why I hate the rains. Because they remind me of who I used to be.

But I have to be honest with my self, I love it...I love the rains...There's this feeling that you get when it's dark and gloomy outside--the kind that matches your mood--and there isn't a better time to spend time indoors. Reading a book, writing, listening to songs that make you cry...Last monsoon I spent one of the best days with my roommates at my old flat. There was a sort of heavy drizzle at about 3 am, and we sat on the terrace for nearly two hours in the rain, sipping chilled beer, talking about life and love, and getting happily drenched... those people have gone now..and so has that place..But that's the way I'll always remember our time together.

I digress. Yet again.

I'm not sure what I was talking about any more. But let me just say this: I may never want to spend my life in Mumbai. But every now and then, I'd like to go there to find my self, and Be my self.

New Beginnings

It's been a long long time. And I still have nothing really to talk about. I would have liked to say that with the beginning of a new phase of my life, everything's changed, everything's different. But it isn't so. Not at this very moment, that is. Maybe in time I'll be able to say that.

For those wondering what this new phase is, well, I have begun the 'working' phase. Now I'm a '23 year old working woman' and I'm not really sure if I like the sound of it.

I've started working at The Times of India in Ahmedabad as a copy editor cum news correspondent. Which means that I have, once again, shifted base to the city that I had come to love once upon a time.

Ok, so in this regard I would say that thing have changed. Because when I was here two years back, everything was different. I knew so many people and it made me want to stay here forever. But now it like staring over. And let me tell you that it's really not fun. I dont make friends as easily as I would like. I'm quiet as a mouse and shy as a...well..whatever creature is really shy..and that is so uncharacteristic of me..I'm living with a new person after staying with my family for 2 years since I was here.. I dont quite know how to describe what I'm feeling right now...so I'm not going to try.

As of now, I haven't done much at work. I started on the 8th and on the first 2 days, besides filling up forms and things I edited a few stories. Last night I sat with one of my colleagues to watch as she made page 6 and page 2. That was fun. A better word would be exhilarating. To watch the next day's newspaper being created right before my eyes was surreal. Like my friend said, I make tomorrow's headlines. I made one last night, and the feeling was great. As time goes on, I'll be making many many more. And maybe then I'll have lots more to write..


PS: never believe me when I say "I have nothing to say"

Mumbai through my lense- II

This is the National Center of Performing Arts, NCPA, where I met Cyrus Bharucha.











Mumbai at night looks like this...a blur of lights, sounds and activity....














Mumbai's life line- the local trains..it was one of the very few times when it was empty..10:00 pm on our way to dinner at Andheri..The trains make up for one of the most important elements of Mumbai and I spent a minimum of 3 hours on it daily.. Miss it now? Not so sure...













Crazy bus ride from Belapur to Bandra.. at 11:30 pm the bus driver thought he was flying an airplane..not sure how many people, fruits, babies, bags fell during that ride...













The Bandra-Worli sea link that I could see from my dad's uncle's place. An amazing sight..













Me at the Lakme Fashion Week...one of the hundreds of pictures my colleague and me took during the break time.












The Taj Palace Hotel at Colaba...a magnificent piece of architecture...completely blows your mind...
















Me at the Gate Way of India and the Mumbai Marina in the background...














My friend and me at dinner in Andheri, near her office at Aaj Tak











At the same place, same day...with chicken, fish and vodka..













With my superhero- Spidey! at Belapur.























MAD OVER DONUTS :- the best place on earth.recommendations-the dark knight and hazzle dazzle.













At Pop Tates/ Jughead's with Long Islands, Black Russian and Chocolate shake...crazy pasta and steaks...










All in all: Loved being there with my friends <3 :) <3

Mumbai through my lense- I

this is the view from our 10th floor apartment in Mumbai. The blue and white striped building top that you can see straight ahead near the electricity tower is the Times of India building that glows in the night.





This is Sanjeev Kapoor, the well known chef, and me, at Kuoni Holiday's report unveiling. The pic is not very clear as you can see. but it was taken on the sly, from way back, since we were kind of shy to ask him for a pic.





This is the Mumbai skyline. On one of the days I went for a walk during work hours. This is just two minutes away from my office. Lucky me..to be so close to this beautiful view..








The balloon man outside Trident Hotel, Nariman Point. He was nice enough to pose for me a little while later :)








Two kids enjoying their curd in front of the Mumbai skyline. I forgot their names now, but one of them was Rudraksh. The one on the right.









This lil' kid was with his mom at marine lines. She told me he was really camera shy, but otherwise talked alot. It was nice talking to her. She told me that she was in Mumbai since forever and she loved it here. She asked me where I was from and whether I liked Mumbai or not. I told her the truth...






A common sight at the marine drive...but it was somehow beautiful to see these two...















My office building at Nariman Point.













Jolly Maker Chambers II, where I spent 4 weeks and had a great time...

Blessings from the poor

This is something that happened quite some time back, when I was still in Mumbai for my internship. I’d forgotten to write it in all those busy weeks.

After a terribly hectic day at work, I was on my way to Olive Kitchen and Bar at Mahalaxmi for Tommy Hilfiger’s new footwear launch. I got off at Mahalaxmi station and asked one of the vendors which side to get off (I can’t remember now if I wanted to go the west or east side, but let’s assume it was the East).

I got onto the road and waited for a cab. I was already very late for the launch and there wasn’t a taxi in sight. I decided to start walking hoping I would get one soon. It seemed as though I had been walking for about half an hour and I still wasn’t anywhere close to Olive or finding a cab.

I finally asked a shopkeeper where I’d get a taxi to go to Olive. He asked me which side it was and I said “East.” He smiled sympathetically and told me that this was the West side.

I groaned in utter frustration on the inside and desperately asked him how to get to the other side. He pointed to a taxi stand across a busy street and told me that the cab would take me wherever I wanted to go.

I thanked him and after what seemed like another 10 minutes, crossed the road, stopped a cab, asked him to take me to Olive and closed the door hurriedly behind me.

Just before the driver could take off, an old man came to my window and knocked. I looked at him with impatience at first since I really needed to get to the launch. I couldn’t understand what the man was saying so I rolled down my window and asked him what he wanted. He told me that he needed to get to this particular place and he didn’t have any money.

At first I wasn’t sure what to say or do. The old man was dressed pretty shabbily and looked like what one might term as a beggar. Having been in Mumbai for almost a month now, I had begun to look at these characters with suspicion after having heard terrible stories about their cheating tactics.

I asked the man where he wanted to go and it turned out that it was quite close to the Race Course where I wanted to get off. I asked the cab driver if he could take the old man. I would pay the entire fare, that wasn’t a problem. The driver told me that it was my decision and if I wanted then he would take the old man in.

I didn’t really have a lot of time to think and so I let the old man get into the front seat.

Once inside, I was a little scared to be honest. What if this was some sort of an arranged thing? What if the old man and the cab driver were some kidnappers or something and this was a planned way of looting me? (Yes. I’d watched too many movies to believe this was possible)
I sat nervously in the back seat, praying. But then a voice inside my head told me that being in Mumbai had made me too cynical and pessimistic. “See this as an opportunity to help someone for a change,” the voice told me. And then, unbelievably enough, I did relax.

The entire way the old man kept turning at the back with his hands joined and thanked me over and over for letting a poor man like him ride with me. He told me that he urgently had to get to this place and he had no money. No one was ready to take him. He had a huge family to look after and they had barely enough money to eat one meal a day.

I didn’t really know what to say to all of this. I kept silent, but listened to his story. Every time he joined his hands to thank me, involuntarily I would join my hands too, telling him that it wasn’t a big deal, and it was my duty to help him.

He got off at Race Course and before the driver sped off the old man blessed me from outside.

Something strange was happening inside me and I felt sort of good that I had given myself a chance to be of some help to a needy person.

I reached Olive in about 2 minutes after that. I got out of the cab and told the driver that I’d just make sure this was the place since he too wasn’t very sure about it. He told me he’d wait and I went to ask the security guard at the gate.

While I was gone, there was an elderly couple on their way back from the Amateurs’ Riding Club, waiting to take the cab.

I got back and took out my purse to pay the driver while the couple got in. I handed the driver a 100 rupee note since I had no change. The driver told me that the fare was 16 rupees and he too didn’t have any change.

I stood there for a while wondering what to do. I went to a few nearby people to ask them if they had change for 100 rupees, but none of them did.

I went back to the driver in desperation and told him that I really didn’t have anything other than a 500 rupee note.

At this point, the man in the back seat asked me how much I needed to pay. I told him that it was 16 rupees. He told me that he’d pay the fare. I looked at him sheepishly and told him that I didn’t have any money to give him in exchange. The man woman smiled at me and said that I needn’t worry. They would pay it for me. It wasn’t much and anyway they too didn’t have change to give the driver.

I stood there dumbfounded and utterly grateful to the kind couple for helping me out that night. I thanked them and they left with a smile.

It was a strange incidence. I had always heard that good things happen to good people and that if you help someone in need their blessings really do come true. But it had happened to me the first time or atleast this obviously and this quickly.

I whispered a soft ‘thank you’ to God for this incident and made my way inside Olive.

LIVE from Mumbai X

Undated, but somewhere last week

53 Jolly Maker Chamber II

Nariman Point

Mumbai

(NOTE: I’ve begun this post so many times over the past week and I’ve never finished it. Now the dates are all mixed up and I can’t remember what happened when so I’m just putting it down as I remember it. I hope this doesn’t read as confusing as I am right now)

It’s been a crazy few days. You’ll know since you haven’t heard from me in a while. The last time I’d disappeared was because I had nothing to write. But this time it’s the complete opposite. I have tons to write but I’ve had no time at all. You might not believe me, but I have been terribly busy because this week at work it was production week and since Monday it’s been insane. The phone’s been ringing off the hook and the Delhi office has had us on our toes the whole time. When I was writing for Simply Gujarati, it was similar. And that used to frazzle me to no end. It’s the same here. But maybe I’m used to it. But actually no. Every time my phone or the office phone rings, we all hope it isn’t Delhi I’m sure that they are in as much hurry or tension as we are. Doesn’t that happen everywhere? You have someone superior to you who’s sitting on your head with deadlines. That person has his/her own boss and so on. So I guess it’s not entirely their fault. But still. Its extremely stressful.

So let me begin by telling you what all happened yesterday because that’s fresh in my memory.

The morning began in absolute chaos as phone calls kept pouring in from Delhi. They had a lot of queries about the stories we’d sent. Many changes had to be made. I was given a particular format to follow and I did that and wrote my story and then later they told me that I have to write it in a different format. I was really tensed that they might either reject my story or I might not be able to get it done in time. Also, I had sent in a dozen pics for this one story and all of them were rejected. So I had to arrange for a photo-shoot for that story. Plus one of the designers I was writing on, I was told to do a photo-shoot for her too. Timings were not working out and I was losing my mind with the demands of people around me.

Once one photo-shoot was arranged and the photographer went off to handle it, I breathed a sigh of relief. But only for a few moments. I got back to editing my story while still sorting out Delhi’s issues.

In the evening at about quarter to five, my friend called up to say that she was at the launch of a new Planet M store in Churchgate and the cast and crew of the new movie FALTU was to be there. I needed to take a break and so I went and asked my boss if I could go for the launch and he said I could.

I reached there and was so glad that I finally knew someone at an event and I wouldn’t have to stand by myself.

We waited for the store to be launched and for the guests to come. But celebrities being celebrities, they came past six. By then Delhi had begun calling me again, asking me questions about the story and details regarding the photo-shoot.

Finally the ‘stars’ arrived and in walked Jackky Bhagnani with his father and his co-star Pooja Gupta, Remo D’souza and Salman (Yana Gupta’s choreographer on Jhalak Dikhlaja ) I took one look at them, grabbed the press release and ran back to office to take care of the mess that awaited me.

After a hectic couple of hours I finally left for the launch of Tommy Hilfiger Spring Summer Footwear Collection at Olive in Mahalaxmi. Taking directions from my friend and colleague, I reached the place at about 9 pm.

I entered Olive and I didn’t know a soul. I walked around like a ghost for a few minutes before I remembered that I did know someone. The PR guy who’d called me about the launch. I met him and he took me to talk to all the biggies of TH. For a moment I was stunned. More like had a nervous breakdown (for a couple of seconds). I’d never heard of any of the guys out there. I hadn’t had the time to research on the brand or the people associated with it. I didn’t want to say no because that would have been foolish and really immature and unprofessional. Nor did I want to talk to them and sound like a complete ignoramus. I didn’t really have the time to contemplate and the next thing I knew I was talking to the CEO of TH India. I somehow managed to come up with a few questions about the new line, the theme, the need to expand the line, what is it’s target audience, what’s different about this particular line, its inspiration etc. I was terribly nervous as you can possibly imagine. But I made it through.

I’d just about finished than the PR person introduced me to the COO and there I went again. But this time I was better. I handled myself in a much more mature manner and yet again finished smoothly.

And once done talking to the COO I was taken to meet the Chairman, the big boss of TH India and I couldn’t believe my luck. Good luck or bad luck, I have no idea, but there I was chatting to him as though I’d known him for ages. I was really proud of myself. He spoke to me about a lot of things about the brand and I came up with new questions from the things he told me.

It all ended well and I finally made my way to the bar and ordered for a glass of orange juice (I’m not making it up). While I was sitting there and nibbling on prawn starters, I heard some reporters and camera persons call out, “Karan one question please! Karan face this side! Karan this! Karan that!” I turned around and there was Karan Johar, speaking to the reporters and posing for pictures. I was quite excited to see him, and tried to take a pic. Got a hazy one. After him came Shahzaan Padamsee, Puneet Malhotra, Tarun Mansukhani and Ritwik Bhatacharya. It was all new for me, seeing all these celebrities and have everyone around be all chilled out about it as though it wasn’t anything new. Which it wasn’t. Not for them.

It was half past ten by then so I decided to go home. Besides, I was starving. I told the PR guy that I was leaving and he walked me out and handed me a paper bag with Tommy Hilfiger printed across the front. I didn’t peep in at that moment, but smiled and said thank you. It was only when I was in the rickshaw on the way to the station that I looked inside the bag and I found a pair of TH chappals, in pink and black and exactly my size! I was thrilled. I immediately called up my friend and told her about it because we had been talking about it just that day.
So that was my day of celebrity watching, if you want to call it.

And since I’m talking about celebrities, then let me also tell you about this event I went to a day or two before the TH launch. It was a wine tasting event at Sea Princess Hotel in Juhu where four wines of Kimaya brand were being unveiled. There too I sat alone since I didn’t know anyone, but got around to chatting with the PR of that event. We exchanged numbers and she told me she’ll call me about the listings in our magazine. At that event, I saw a couple of actors/ actresses I’ve seen on TV but don’t know their names. I saw Shahzaan Padamsee there too. I’d had three glasses of wine on an empty stomach and was feeling quite light headed at the end of it. So I left early from there and went home for dinner.

On Saturday night we girls went to Jughead’s (Malad west) for dinner and had a fabulous time. The India- South Africa cricket match was almost over and it was a close one. The entire place was alive; cheering for both the teams and it was awesome! We’d had great dinner and later went for a walk to MindSpace and sat outside Barista for a while.

Yesterday, Sunday, we didn’t do much because two of my friends were working since they’d had a holiday on Saturday. Three of us went out for dinner to Andheri to this non-veg place that’s near one of my friend’s office (Aaj Tak).

So that’s all that has happened over last week. I wish I’d written sooner because I had a lot of things to say about those socialite parties. Maybe I’ll write about it later.

I’m waiting for the magazine issue to be out soon since it carries two of my stories. Will post it on FB.

--

LIVE from Mumbai IX

6th / 7th March, 2011
Prathmesh Avenue
Malad East
Mumbai

Ok. So I’ve been missing over the weekend. But that’s because I haven’t been at home. Where have I been? With my family. Let me start from the beginning of Saturday.

So Saturday was my weekly off. I woke up at 8:20 am because one of my friends was leaving for work in some time. So I got up and we talked while she had her breakfast. Meanwhile, another friend woke up as well and we talked about the previous day’s events. (I’d gone out with a friend for dinner and had had an amazing time) I told them about that and they told me about all their stories.

After my friend left for work, we didn’t go back to sleep. Don’t ask me why. After going to sleep at 1 the previous night, I was surprisingly bright eyed and chirpy. So anyway, we thought of what to do for the rest of the day. My friend had received a mail about a job opportunity at NCPA (that’s the National Centre for Performing Arts). I told her that the place was right next to my office and if she wanted to check the place out, we could go. Anyway we had nothing better planned for the day, so she agreed. We decided to have lunch there at Subway (yes, we’re Subway fans and she’d been longing for a Sub since a while now).

After lazing around for a while, we finally went for our baths, had our breakfast and when we finally left it was 12 noon.

We reached Churchgate at about 1:15 and went the usual route. We went to Subway first because we were really hungry and couldn’t wait until her work at NCPA was done. So we went to CR2 and stood in line to place our order. It was Saturday and the Sub of the day was Tuna. I’m not a fan of fish and especially tuna. So I ordered for roast chicken instead and my friend took the tuna. We also took a bottle of cold drink and contemplated where to sit and eat because that was just a take-away joint.

I then realized that we were right next to the sea-line and we could sit at the stretch of paved road that bordered the sea. So we took our lunch there and found a spot to sit in the shade. It was like our little picnic. It was beautiful. The sight, the weather, the food and our conversation.

We didn’t want to leave from there. We were content sitting there like that forever. We wished we didn’t have to work. We wished we could eat all we wanted whenever and whatever we wanted. We then talked about how food was the best thing in life and how selfless and un-judgmental it was. How it never expected anything in return, how it never fought with you or betrayed you or how it didn’t matter who was eating it. It didn’t matter whether a girl or guy was eating, whether it was a beautiful or ugly person or whether he was rich or poor. Nothing could get better than food and better than the satisfaction that food gave you. Every other satisfaction had conditions attached to it. But not food.

We finally left feeling really good about everything. We reached NCPA at about 2:30 pm. We walked around the grounds to get to the reception only to find that being Saturday, the office was closed. In a way we felt silly, and anyone in our place would have thought it had been a waste of a day, travelling all the way from Malad to Nariman Point only to have lunch. But we didn’t regret it. We’d had fun and so it was worth it.

We then left for home back to Malad because I was meeting my friend again. And besides I was supposed to leave for Mulund by 4pm to go to my cousin’s place and later meet my parents who were to come today morning.

We reached home and my friend was already there. We were there for another 2 hours before my cousin called to tell me that they’ll pick me up from Andheri station.
I left for Andheri and was there in 15 minutes. I went and stood at the place I was to meet my cousin and my uncle and aunty who’d also come from Goa that morning. After a lot of confusion and pranks and long phone-calls, I finally met them and we headed for Mulund by cab. It took us about an hour or so to get to Nirmal Lifestyle (Mulund) and there we met my cousin. After shopping for about 45 minutes we had dinner there and I absolutely loved it! (I still say there’s no better thing in life than food)

We went back home and got ready to sleep since we had to wake up early the next morning. My mum and dad were coming at about 5:30 am.

I’m not sure how long I was awake or when morning came but when I opened my eyes, my parents were sitting in the living room yapping with everyone.

We had a great time together. Mum had packed a huge bag of food for me and I was thrilled. After coffee we got ready to go to church for the 8:15am mass. When we reached St Pius Church, we discovered that the mass had begun at 8 and we were late for it. So we decided to go for the 9:15 one and went for breakfast to a nearby restaurant.

The church was celebrating women’s day that day and after mass, many women of the congregation put up eatery stalls outside. We packed a lot of food from there and my cousin got all of us (meaning the women in the family) flowers.

Later in the evening, we went to visit my dad’s uncle who stays in Mahim with his family. It’s a family apartment called Star of the Sea and the uncle’s kids all live in the same building, one above the other.

We first went to meet my dad’s uncle who is now a frail old man of about 90 or so and walks with the help of a walker. The daughter who lives with him is married to a guy who makes centre pieces and sets for events like weddings, concerts and the recent ICC World Cup 2011 opening ceremony. We sat in the living room and the sight from where I was couldn’t have got any better. The doors to the living room opened out right at the sea. And right there in front of your eyes was the magnificent Bandra-Worli Sea link.

I went outside into the backyard and just stood there in amazement. The beach was right there, and the sea was incredibly calm and still. There was a withering tree at one corner that had not a single leaf on it, and the sun came streaming through the barren branches.

As we went a floor higher to meet the rest of my dad’s cousins, the view just got better. And finally at about 6pm when we reached the 3rd floor, the view took my breath away. The Mumbai skyline, the sea link, the sea shore, the people, and the setting sun that cast an almost pinkish hue over the skies- I could’ve stayed there forever. I could hear loud music (Devil Woman by Cliff Richard) playing from below me, and I got to know it was the uncle whom we met at the ground floor.

What I also realized after being at my dad’s cousins’ place was that I was the 6th person in my entire family (immediate and extended combined) who was in the line of journalism. Not such a different or extraordinary choice of career, is it now?
After all the visiting was done, my parents and my aunt came to see me off at Mahim station and I saw the anxious looks on their faces as the train pulled out of the station and they waved till I was out of sight. I think they think I’m really brave and have finally grown up.

For dinner we went to our landlord’s place (who’s also a friend of one of my friends who lives with me). Had a delicious and filing meal of Guajarati cuisine.
Well, that’s how my weekend was. Nothing like last weeks shopping spree, but lovely all the same.

LIVE from Mumbai VIII

4th March 4, 2011
Nariman Point
Mumbai


I know I know. I haven’t written in a long time. After the last time I wrote, nothing great happened. I wasn’t inspired enough to write and I didn’t want to write a post simply for the sake of writing, and waste my time and your’s (if you’ve been reading, that is).

Yesterday I wanted to write because I’d had a good day. But then I got too busy. Which I loved, by the way. The past week, I didn’t have much to do. All I was doing was collecting story ideas from things around me. Reading the papers, looking for stuff on the internet as to what all is new in the entertainment line, updating the listings page (that’s the event calendar in the city supplement) etc. All that wasn’t fun at all. I wasn’t even sent on any more press conferences so I could write about new places and about the people I met.

My boss says that in journalism, it’s more important to generate ideas and get them approved than writing a story. Writing anyone can do (I so wanted to disagree with him, partly because not Everyone can write, and I’m the writer, that’s all I am. I got nothing else but my writing skills). But I didn’t argue. I nodded along. He says that I shouldn’t wait for story ideas to be approved. I should just keep looking for more and more ideas and think of how I can make them work in a way that’ll add new light and perspective to it. I’m not saying that all that isn’t important. It’s just that talking to people and finally getting down to writing is what’s better for me. So the past week wasn’t all that interesting.

But yesterday I finally got to work the way I know it and love it. I started working on 3 stories. I won’t tell you yet what they are about. Maybe if and when they’re out in print.

I called up a dozen people with regards to the stories, got good responses from a few, not so needed responses from the rest. But one story turned out to be particularly interesting because when I’d started out, I had just one name. Then it went up to 10, and then to four. I’m hoping that by the time the stories done, I have atleast three if not more.

I then called this sportsperson whose kids I’m interviewing. He was really nice to me. Spoke politely and frankly about what he feels and I really liked him. Not everyone speaks to us journalists properly. I’m not sure why though. Or maybe I do.

For the third story I had to call the secretary first, then the main guy who’s out of town so the interview will be done via email. Like many others. Sometimes that’s just so convenient.

After a fulfilling day at work I left office feeling really happy. I’d left early to accompany my friend who broke her two day fast last evening. So we’d decided we’ll go for dinner to some nice place rather than our regular one.

In the middle of that, our ‘phone woes’ (phrase stolen from my friend’s ‘chappal woes’) continued. After finally getting a local number from Uninor, we discovered that the network was utterly horrible. You had to stand in one corner of the room on one leg and in some weird physically impossible position to get coverage. After being thoroughly fed up with that, we got an Idea number. The coverage was great and call-rates and things worked out fine. And then yesterday, what should happen but our connection getting barred for not submitting some required documents. Our idea lines not in use, we switched to the much hated Uninor number only to find that that number too was blocked. Great. We couldn’t get in touch with anyone. We eventually switched to our Baroda numbers and have been using that right now. Hoping that our troubles will be over soon. This is just too much.

So anyway, we set out for dinner at about 9pm and one of my friend’s dad suggested a good restaurant a little further off from where we were staying.

Let me tell you that by that time we three were 3/4th of crazy lunatics. My insane pangs of hunger, my friend’s unbelievable day of boredom and the other friend’s extremely tiring day at work had left us suffering from partial dementia. I had a mad look on my face when I suggested that I want to eat laddoos, the bored friend walked from one mattress to the other to show me what she did all day at home and the other was ready to kill people. We were at our irritable best and snapped at everyone. But then we also had sudden burst of laughter for no apparent reason.

So there we were, hunting for food. And I say that in a literal sense. We didn’t find the place we were looking for and we were somewhere in Malad west/ Goregaon looking for a non-vegetarian restaurant. After walking back and forth for around half an hour, we finally settled on this one place that looked kind of expensive. But by that time we were so starved that we were willing to pay anything for food (and my bored friend was eating up her words by then).

We ordered for butter chicken and egg curry and once our order was placed, we began staring at our neighbour’s plate of chicken lollipops. Oh what a sight they were.

When our dinner came it was heavenly. And not because we were crazily hungry, but because the food really was good. We ate like cave people and didn’t care about anyone else. Boy was that an amazing dinner. After that we had ice-cream because we felt our meal was incomplete.

We then caught a rick and went home at about 11.

Decided to watch The Social Network before falling off to sleep, but like the past week or so, I fell asleep after just 15 minutes of the film making the total number of films I’ve watched in Mumbai so far to….wait for it…ZERO. I simply can’t stay up at night. A huge huge change from my condition in Baroda. An incredible change.

Right now I’m at work. I just finished an interview with one designer and now waiting for the rest of the people to respond. Will be meeting my friends for lunch at Colaba. Looking forward to that if there’s not too much work load by then.

Well that’s all for now. Will try and be a little more updated on my blog the next time.

Tada!

LIVE from Mumbai VII

1st March
Jolly Maker Chambers II
Nariman Point
Mumbai



Not much to write for yesterday. Had some work to do at office so it was a good day. I felt useful and it felt nice to be busy. Worked on a few story ideas to be sent for approval, and also helped my colleague on one regular piece that she does. Went down for lunch and got a Sub. Now I’ve decided. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I’ll have Subs for lunch since the sub of the day is non-vegetarian. I miss my meats and for dinner we haven’t found a non-veg place as yet. Not on this side of the area. So having vegetables or rice-dal daily is getting to me. No doubt even the veg food is good, but I’m so not a vegetable person. My colleague was surprised when she found out that I don’t even take salads in my Subs. So yeah. That’s how it is.

One important thing that I want to mention is what my friend was saying last night just before going to sleep. It had always been a dream for her to work in Mumbai. And only one week later, she’s decided she had been wrong in choosing her dreams. This life isn’t made for her. She hates it. What kind of life is this? You slog all day at work without any recognition, without any acknowledgements and without any kind of appreciation. You get back home and there’s no time for anything else. No time for any of the things you love to do. No time to even talk to the people in your own house. It had been 7 days in the flat and she’d seen this other friend of mine only three times. She didn’t want that.

That’s exactly the kind of thing I was afraid of before I came here. Part of it is still true for me. But somehow, it’s fading away. Not entirely though. I’m scared that if that fear of being here goes away, a part of me is going away too. Because I felt so strongly about all of this. I associated myself with this fear. And without that, I don’t know who I am.

I wish I had some comforting things to say to my friend. But I didn’t. Because everything she said was true. But do I want to accept that now? I don’t know.

LIVE from Mumbai V

26th February

Malad
Mumbai

I sit here alone at my malad flat. Two of my friends have headed for home for the weekend and one of my friends is on her way from work. So I thought I’ll get some writing done while I have the time and the internet access.

I haven’t written about my day yesterday and the day before. So let me fill you in.

24th February
Nariman Point
Mumbai

Today I finally took advantage of my office being at one of the most picturesque locations in Mumbai. After staring at the computer screen since morning I was totally fed up. No one was at work. My boss and colleagues were not in office and I took the opportunity and went out for a walk.

I took directions for NCPA (The National Centre of Performing Arts) from the security and headed there. After taking permissions from the receptionist and concerned parties for allowing me to look around the campus, I went around the huge building. As I was walking, this middle aged guy comes walking besides me and asks me if I’ve seen the main auditorium. And I told him that it’s my first time at NCPA and my fourth day or so in Mumbai. He told me that they’re recording for Saturday’s concert and I could watch if I wanted. I thanked him and followed him. On the way, he asked me where I was from, what I was doing etc I told him and in turn asked him who he was. He told me his name was Cyrus Bharucha. Somewhere in my head a tiny bell rang, but not as loud as I now wish it had.

Anyway, we reached the main auditorium and as soon as I stepped in it took my breath away. It was the largest hall I’d ever seen. A magnificent chandelier hung from the middle of the seating area and tiny lights were reflected off numerous glass panels above the stage. On the stage itself, were over 25 non-Indians with every musical instrument imaginable. And the music they made left me speechless, and brought a smile to my face. They were incredible. I’d never been to a live orchestra before. Never like this one atleast. Even during rehearsals they played with such passion. I wish I could’ve stayed there forever, but I had to leave. I got up and went to thank Cyrus. I asked him for his contact number and he handed me his visiting card and told me to keep in touch. I told him I would and left with a smile. People in Mumbai were turning out to be nicer than I’d thought.

After that I decided to go for a walk around marine lines. Or something that resembles the place. I think it leads to marine drive. Anyway, I walked for around an hour, thoroughly enjoying the wind and the sea. I met a lot of people on my walk, spoke to them for little while, took many pictures, and felt that life couldn’t get any better. In that one hour, I met every kind of person I could meet in a lifetime. I met two little beggar kids, a mother and her toddler son, a tonga wala, a young couple, a tourist guy, a ‘sadhu’, and so many other people. I didn’t want to leave, but I’d been out for over an hour and I had to get back to work.
I left marine lines, but only after promising that I’d be back for sure. There was a lot I hadn’t seen yet and I wanted all of it.

Back at my desk, the first thing I did was google Cyrus Bharucha, and I have to be honest, I felt like a complete idiot when I realized who he was. One of the most famous faces of BBC and CNN, he’d been absolutely great with me. No arrogance, no ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ crap. I felt stupid, but I was also amazed by his humility. I’m going to make sure I get back to him.




25th February

Trident
Bandra Kurla Complex
Bandra
Mumbai

I’m sitting here at an International Boating Conference and I’ve never seen so many guys in business suits other than at a Catholic wedding. I’m glad I chose to wear what I’m wearing, so I don’t look completely out of place. But my pink and white striped ballerinas and my cat anklet expose my secret. I’m new at my job and totally out of place. But I’m trying really hard to concentrate at what people are saying. And I’m taking notes as well. My boss is right here and he’s thought of a story to work on for India Today main. Hopefully I’ll get to work on this story. It sounds like a very smart concept and I’ve never worked on anything like this before.
At the Trident here, food is nothing but the best. After a cup of strong coffee and some delicious melt-in-your-mouth chocolate cookies, I’m back at the conference. Things are beginning to make a lot more sense and I’m able to follow the discussion that’s happening. I’ve met a lot of people today, media persons and important delegates. I’m really amazed and proud of how I’ve handled myself with all these important people. Most of the people have seen me always giggling or acting silly or cracking silly jokes. But they would have been proud of the way I’m being. I look, sound and behave almost professional.

Post lunch, (unbelievably crazy dessert) I went for the boat show nearby with my boss and a girl I made friends with from DNA. It was a hilarious ride, in my boss’s 1957 Fiat. He’s a great guy and with the stories I’ve told my friends, they can’t wait to meet him. I had a good time once we got talking. He’s just as new at the Mumbai office as me. But he knows Mumbai like no other.

The boat show was not what I’d hoped it would be. The biggest disappointment was that the boats (one yacht and many speed boats and kayaks) were on LAND. Not on water. So it wasn’t as much fun.

After an hour or so, I go back to Trident, attend the rest of the conference and after tea, I left for home. My boss told me I needn’t go to office since I was working all day and I can enjoy my 2-day weekend.
So I meet my friends at Bandra station and we go to Dahisar to one of my friends’ uncle’s place for dinner.

Had a fun time, and at around midnight, we return home, get ready for bed, and I’m off to sleep.

LIVE from Mumbai IV

24 February 2011,
Jolly Maker Chambers II
Nariman Point
Mumbai

Yesterday on my way back home I learnt two things and I wish to make those corrections about what I earlier said about Mumbai. One, Mumbai isn’t all about glamour and the elite (just because I saw that side of Mumbai first doesn’t mean the other side doesn’t exist) and two, people do give a damn about others.

I was sitting in the ladies compartment last evening, listening to my music and falling asleep after a long day. I woke up somewhere in the middle when I heard a couple of women screaming at each other. I opened one eye and saw one lady flinging abusives at the other because apparently she’d pushed her or something. I shut my eye without a thought and went back to sleep.

When I reached Andheri, a lot of women got in and among them there was a young beggar boy of about 17 years. He was shabbily dressed and walked with the help of a crutch as he had only one leg. I saw him climb onto the train with difficulty, and then rest against a seat. The train began to move and he turned towards where I was sitting. As my eyes were closing from intense sleep and exhaustion, I suddenly heard a loud ‘thud’. I woke up and saw that the boy had fallen on the floor. He sat there, with his head in his hands. At first everybody only looked in his direction out of concern. Was he hurt? He wasn’t bleeding from anywhere but he did seem to have banged his head somewhere.

After a little while, he struggled to get back on his foot. As he fumbled to hold on the handle above his head, he missed or either felt weak and he came crashing down again, this time right next to my feet. All of us sitting around bent down to help him and made him sit on the seat. People looked around for water to give him. The boy began sobbing out of sheer helplessness and we looked at each other with a sad expression. We didn’t know what he was feeling, but we had some clue. It wasn’t the fact that he was hurt that made him cry. It was the realization that he couldn’t do the simplest of things without people’s help and his poverty only made things worse.

As he sat on the seat quietly, some people offered him whatever food they had, thinking that he was feeling faint and therefore unable to stand up. Someone gave him an apple, one a dairymilk chocolate. He put the things in his bag without a word.

I searched in my bag for something I could give him. Knowing that an apple or sweet won’t fill his stomach, I gave him the only thing I had: a bag filled with dinner that I had packed for my friends back home. I offered it to him telling him that he should eat it otherwise he wont be able to get up. He had to go all the way back to Churchgate and he needed something solid in his stomach.

Once again he put the bag of food in the plastic bag with the apple. People around him told him to eat it then instead of saving it for later. He told them that he had to take it home to his brother because he hadn’t eaten anything for so long.

Nothing anyone would say made him eat. He just took a tiny bite of the apple and then stood up again.

By this time I had got up from my seat to give place to a pregnant lady, and was standing near the door. I saw the boy limp towards the door step. I reached out to help him, but he didn’t need any help. When the next stop came, he got off on his own, and went and sat on the weighing machine on the platform. In a couple of seconds, the train pulled away from the station and began chugging steadily.

I simply looked at the boy, sitting there alone as the mass of humanity that is Mumbai walked on by without a glance in his direction.

Mumbai is home to people of every kind. If you’ve only seen the good, know that there is the sadder side of the story too. And if you think people are only selfish, then there are the good ones too.

MY INNERSELF SPEAKS

I’ve realized this after just three days of being here.

I’m turning into one of them.

Maybe not entirely, but I think I can see myself getting there in no time.

But there’s a difference. The difference is that I’m noticing it, and I know its happening. Do I want it to happen? Do I like what’s happening? I’m not sure. But how much time do I have before I am just one of those unknown faces in the crowd?

When I’d spoken to my friend about wanting or not wanting to be here, where I am right this moment, she’d thought I was insane of even thinking about not coming back. How anyone could not love this city, is what she couldn’t understand. I tried telling her that this was not me. That I couldn’t live a life in perpetual hurry. People running from one place to the other, not even glancing at the person next to them. The only interactions they have are with clients, contacts or those they meet while traveling. I couldn’t be like them. I couldn’t be cold and business-like and not give a damn about anyone but myself.

I haven’t turned into that person yet. I know that. But I feel like it’ll happen. And even though I like it in a way, I don’t know if I’ll be happy always. On the other hand, the way I see it, me becoming that person won't be so bad after all. Atleast it'll make me stronger and not care so much about people.

I look at what I have right now. The good and the bad.

I rush to work the moment I’m awake. The only thing on my mind first thing in the morning is which local train will get me fastest to work and avoid the rush. I barely have time to eat before I leave, or get enough time to talk to my friends.

On the train too, I switch on my music and shut myself to the rest of the world. At work, I do my own thing, and at the end of 8 hours, I’m making my way back home. The same one hour back and forth, too tired to do anything but doze off as the train makes its way through Mumbai’s busiest areas.

As I get off the train and head home, I’m practically running. My feet move as though they’re possessed by some unknown force. I stop for nothing and no one and I look straight ahead without noticing what’s around me.

Back home I’m too exhausted to do anything but hit the sack and be dead to the world.

The next morning, it’s the same story.

But then, I have to be fair. There is the better side.

When I wake up in the morning, I sit up and the first thing I see is the incredible view outside my window. Nothing beats that feeling. Its 7 am and it’s still foggy outside. I can see tall buildings till the farthest end of the earth. It’s beautiful. I know, a bunch of buildings isn’t exactly what one would call a work of art, but you have to see it to believe it. I feel on top of the world. Literally.

On my way to work, I watch the city go by. And that’s when I have all the time in the world to simply sit and stare. Somehow, it’s still misty outside and all those buildings that I have to strain my neck to see disappear into the clouds. It’s amazing to see that even these man-made structures make your heart stir.

When I’m in the cab that takes me to my office, I sit with my head out of the window and yet again, I’m amazed at what I see. Buildings are crammed in every inch in Mumbai, and still, the sight of those massive concrete blocks is an entirely different feeling. You know how you see flowers blooming and sprawling lawns or rolling mountains and endless waters and feel like the world just doesn’t get better than this? You feel like nothing inspires you more? That you could be in this place forever?

It’s strange, but I somehow get that feeling here too.

But one of the best things is what I see when I’m leaving for home. I get into a cab and as I drive along marine lines, there’s nothing more incredible. For those familiar with the Manhattan skyline, it’s the closest thing to that. The sea stretches out in front of you and across that, you can see a whole new side of the city. Rows and rows of buildings of varying heights line the seashore. They’re speckled with innumerable spots of yellow and red and blue. Billboards light up the sidelines. The lamp-posts along marine drive can be seen curving along the coastline till as far as the eyes can see. The wind blows through your hair and the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks fills your ears.

I can’t imagine working anywhere else. Where else will I get a view like this? Where else will I be at a place that inspires me like no other? Where I am just like every other person yet my own individual self?

It’s a debate that’s going on inside of me. Do I like it here or do I not? Do I want to be here? Do I want to let Mumbai work her magic on me just as she’s done with everyone who’s ever been here?

Even as I contemplate what I feel, I tell myself, ‘ if its happening, let it happen. Don’t fight it.’

LIVE from Mumbai III

23 Feb
Nariman point
Mumbai


im back people. lemme fill u in on what happened last night.i finished work at 7 and then got a cab to Churchgate and then a Borivili slow to Malad. it felt incredible to be traveling by myself. i felt brave and proud of myself. i got off at d station and this time didn't get lost. walked till the restaurant my friends were waiting at. they all had just got back from office too and we were all bursting to talk about our day. we exchanged stories over jeera rice and dal fry, frostick and ganga-jamuna juice. it was awesome.we were so excited about everything. we walked back home and got ready for bed.

we then decided to watch Band Bajaa Baraat since we had to wait for another friend to be back at about 12.

we lay down to watch the movie and less than half the way i fell asleep.

now that's a great thing for me because for the past 2 years or so i haven't been able to sleep at night. but for the past 3 nights I've been falling asleep early and that too been getting good sleep. so that's a huge deal for me.

now to today's events so far.

i had to go for a press conference at the Taj Presidential today for the launch of a holiday maker's report. there i met Sanjeev Kapoor, "the most celebrated face of Indian cuisine” as people describe him. as i sat waiting for the pc to start, my friend saw him sitting by himself and told me to go talk to him. i was apprehensive of doing that. for one, he's such a well-known person, i felt so small in front of him. secondly, what do i talk to him about?

my friend finally pushed me out of my seat and i went in front to speak to Sanjeev Kapoor.

my heart beating a 100 miles per second, i introduced myself to him and he smiled and extended his hand.

i asked him if we could talk for a while and he said sure.

we spoke about many things, he told me about where all he likes to travel, what he wants from a vacation, he told me anecdotes of when he went to Delhi and Agra, his trips abroad, about how he is strict about what his kids eat and that on Sundays if he's home and something that his kids don't like is cooked, the kids ask him why he's at home on a Sunday! he was great. i didn't feel like he was this big person I've seen on tv so often. he spoke really nicely and we were laughing together and he told me that there was a spelling mistake on one of the banners.

i felt so good after that. and i was incredibly happy that my friend was there to get me out of my shell.

the pc was followed by awesome food. pepper chicken, mutton, chicken salad, fried potatoes, paneer, ice-creams, jalebi and chocolate mousse.

we then took a cab to Churchgate since i didn't know how to get from Cuffe Parade till Nariman. So got off at the station and took another cab to Jolly Maker.

at work right now, i shared my story ideas with my colleague and she said to make a list of ideas and we can send them to Delhi by the weekend.so I'm hoping that I'll be getting work to do real soon.

oh, and while we were traveling to work in the morning, we did our first girl shopping: we bought bangles. we plan to go shopping on Sunday.

so that's all for now.will be back with much more later.

tada!

Live from Mumbai-II

22 Feb, 2011
Nariman point
Mumbai


so as i was saying, i reached work. there wasn't much to do, being the first day and all. i met my colleagues, met the bureau chief. and went about checking my mails. at about 2:15 i stepped outside for lunch. went to this mall called CR2 and ordered for aloo tikki chaat. i waited for like eternity for my food, starving all the while and glancing at my watch every 2 minutes. finally at about a quarter to 3, the guy behind the counter hands me the tray, saying, " sorry for the delay ma'm. here's a complimentary pepsi." i smile at him, say thank you and walk towards a table closest to the tv. as i got ready to enjoy my meal, while watching some match, i pierced my spoon into the aloo tikki and what should i find there but.....wait for it....dahi (curd)

now those who know me know how absolutely crazily i hate dahi. i cant stand it. i wont have it on my plate, i wont sit next to a person who eats dahi, i wont pass it to anyone. nothing.the sight of it makes me puke. that's how much i detest dahi.

but there i was. all alone. by myself. in a huge mall.i didn't know a soul there. who could i complain to? i had no choice.

i took a deep breath, mixed it all up and ate it.

no more discussion on that. just want to say that its one incident i will never forget.

later in the day, got around to do so some work. made a few calls.and then left work at 7.

caught a cab to Churchgate and then my friend called me up and she told me she'll some meet me there.

she came in a while and we went rambling. she took me to Mondy's and then walked the streets of Colaba Causeway. we then went to see the Gate Way of India and the Taj. it was awesome. and the weather was incredible.

we took a cab back to Churchgate and then we traveled together till Bandra and from there i went to Malad,on my own :)

reached the station and my friend came to pick me up. but i got lost. he was on the east end and i was on the west. and that too the south of the west end and he towards the north. it took us a while but then we found each other and picked up dinner.

back home, we had dinner, i had a wash and then crawled into my bedding.

it was along tiring day. i was exhausted. not from the work, cuz i didn't work, but from all the traveling i guess.i was dirty too. i told my friend that i wish i could say that i smell of Bombay, but i smell of filth. and she said, "that IS Bombay"

more of my adventures later.

tada!

On the way home

Sitting at the edge of her bed, flipping through the pages of her book, she felt a sense of déjà vu. And this wasn’t just one of those times when the moment felt strangely familiar, even though it had never happened for real. It was those times when it actually had. Unfortunately.

She went back a year in time, like how they show in movies, with the scene turning into varying shades of gray.

She was sitting on her bed, the same way she was sitting now, reading ‘The Kite Runner’ and trying to focus on an otherwise beautiful book. And she would have found it beautiful too, if only her mind would let her focus on the writings on the page. But the words were getting blurry and doing a little dance, making it extremely difficult to concentrate. Her eyes were glazing over and she knew it had nothing to do with the book she was reading. It was something entirely different.

And with that confession that silly smile made its appearance on her face. Again. For the hundredth time that night.

She was beginning to feel stupid. Smiling like that all by herself. But she couldn’t help it. Nothing she did could wipe that smile off. And she was ok with that.

Her thoughts went to the day’s events. She wanted to skip all the mundane regular unimportant stuff and get to the part that had her smiling like a fool. But she liked to go over the entire day, hour by hour, until she reached her favourite part.

And so she did.

The day had begun like any other day. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing special that would give her a hint of how it would end. She was in an ok mood and was getting ready to go to work.

She reached the office to find that there wasn’t much to do at the moment so she went about checking her mails. Bills. Mutual funds. Bank statements. More bills. Wow, she thought. The only people who care to write to you are those who want to get money out of you.

She was about to log out of her account when she saw a mail from one of her friends-Sean, also her colleague here at work. She turned around in her seat and saw him typing away at his desk. Funny that he should be mailing her when he sat just a few feet away from her. Or maybe it was work related.

She opened the mail and read the only sentence he’d written: “let’s go for beer later, ‘cuz I’m fed up with work.”

Always been a guy of few words when it came to writing, she mused.

“Yeah sure,” she replied back to his mail and logged out.

She went about doing her work for the rest of the morning, had her lunch at the cafeteria with a bunch of her friends, which also included Sean. He cribbed about how annoying everyone was and how people just did what they were told, without any inputs or initiatives from their side. He complained of how people didn’t care about what they did as long as they were being paid at the end of the month. He worried that people were getting even more selfish with each passing day and that no one cared about others anymore.

She smiled to herself. This discussion was typical of Sean. He’d always been a person who worked with great passion and love for what he did. He loved being out on the field, interacting with people from different walks of life. Being with them, talking to them, hearing their problems and finding a way to help them- that was Sean. Making himself useful was the only way Sean was happy, and spreading a smile everywhere he went, especially with children, was the highlight of his day.

Even here at work, he tried to do the same thing, even though some of his methods weren’t quite in agreement with the top management. His ideas were too radical or unconventional for them to swallow. But Sean fought to get his way, and more often than not, he succeeded. Because they knew he had the ability to prove himself right. And he almost always did.

Back in her room, still struggling to read, she was getting restless. She wanted to skip to the good part now.

After lunch was over they all went back to their work, which had taken on its usual pace, gathering momentum as the day progressed. They didn’t really have the leisure to sit and chat now and everyone was hurrying up with their own stuff, wanting to get it over with, and without any interest.

She paused in her work for a while to take a quick bathroom break. On her way she sneaked a look at Sean’s desk and saw him busy with a video game. Again she had to smile. This was typical too. While everyone went one way, Sean went the other. He took his breaks whenever he wanted because it depended on his moods. Sometimes he’d sit at his desk working for 3-4 hours at a stretch, not wanting to lose his flow. And when he took a break, it was while others were typing away at full speed. It made him look like he was wasting time or wasn’t working hard enough. But that wasn’t true.

He saw her spying on him and flashed a smile. “Hey there sweetheart. Ready to go?”

‘Sweetheart’. Sure. That was the other thing about Sean and her. They were the closest friends. They’d known each other for over a year now and there was a certain comfort level they shared that allowed them to flirt with each other like this. Harmless flirting. It was never serious. “Have you seen the chicks around here?” he would ask her, even though it was a rhetoric question for him. “They’re either married, have boyfriends or are ugly. You’re the only semi-pretty woman here who ain’t married. And I’m hot. So you should consider yourself lucky,” and he would wink at her. She would reply with a smirk and tell him that he was way too modest.

It never went beyond friendship for both of them, they’d never even thought of it. Besides, there was nothing more than friendship that they were looking for from each other. He had his priorities and she had her reasons. They were ok with where they were and had no issues that it wasn’t going anywhere serious. Its how they wanted it to be. Without any complications. “Once people start dating it just kills the fun,” he’d always say. And she agreed with him.

Anyway, moving forward.

She was packing up and getting ready to leave office. Sean came up behind her and whispered furiously, “if you don’t hurry up I’ll either kill you or somebody else for sure!”

She grinned and picked up her bag. “Let’s go.”

She stood at the gate and waited for him to get his car. When he drove by the gate, she got in and had barely closed the door when he sped off. She fumbled with her seatbelt and asked him what was wrong. He simply shook his head and continued to stare at the road ahead, only stopping to glare at passing cars if they over took from the left or to honk at those in his way. She knew he was pissed but she waited for him to calm down.

They got to his favourite club and took his usual seat. He nodded at the girl behind the reception desk and at the guy who came to take their order. He was a regular at this place and everyone knew him. Actually people knew him wherever he went; he was quite a known figure that way.

They placed their order, and got talking. She was doing most of the talking initially, knowing that sooner or later he would burst and tell her what was wrong.

Skip, skip, skip to later.

They’d finished their beers and were back in the car. He said he’d drop her home. But before that he wanted to take her somewhere.

There was this place somewhere on the outskirts, a bridge that over looked the only river that passed through the city. It was supposed to be a beautiful sight this time of the year (winter), with a thick layer of mist over the waters and dim lights showing through. With a chilly wind blowing over the river, it was amazing. That’s what Sean said.

He was shocked that she hadn’t seen the place ever, inspite of having grown up in the same city. “You have to see it!” he’d insisted in the club. And he told her he’d take her there.

So there they were, driving off through a place that was as remote as any place could be. The roads got narrower and winding, and the winds got chillier.

“You’re sure this is where it is?” she asked him uncertainly.

“Yes. Just wait till we get there.”

When they reached their destination, he parked just before the bridge and they got out. They walked towards the narrow concrete bridge, right till the middle and then looked beyond.

It was, indeed beautiful.

He asked her to bend over the ledge. He wanted to show her the little fish that swam on the surface. Even with the fog, he said you could see tiny specs of gold in the water.

“No, I’m not looking down. I’m scared of heights,” she said.

“C’mon,” he said, holding her arm. “I’ll catch you if you fall. Now get over here.”

She tried to run away but he held on to her and took her towards the railing. Still terribly scared of looking down, she closed her eyes and bent forward.

“Do you see it?” he asked eagerly.

“Mmmhmmm”, she mumbled.

They stood there in silence for a while, taking in the scene. It was getting colder and they walked back to his car.

“I’m so tired,” he sighed as he got into the car. “Wish I didn’t have to drive.”

“Well, if I knew how to drive, I would,” she offered.

“You don’t know how to drive?” he asked as though it was a huge flaw. “Let me teach you!”

She looked at him as though he was crazy. “Yeah right.”

“No seriously. I will. Hold on till when we get to a broader stretch of the road and a little more light. Then I’ll teach you,” he told her enthusiastically.

She seemed uncertain about the idea, but his excitement was contagious. “Ok,” she agreed with a grin.

When they got to a safer place, he stopped the car and asked her to get out and come to the driver’s seat. He shifted over to the other side and she got in. She closed the door and looked at him. “Ok. Now what?”

He told her to put her feet onto the brakes and accelerator and hold the steering wheel in a 10 and 2 position, like that on a clock. Then he looked around as though trying to figure how he was going to teach her how to drive, while sitting on the passenger seat, giving out instructions without actually being in control of the car.

“Hmmm. Ok this is not going to work. Hold on. Get out for a second,” and saying so he pushed the driver’s seat backwards to make more room in the front. He stared at the seat for a moment and then climbed on to it. He adjusted himself towards the rear end of the seat and said,” Ok now come in.”

She looked at him and at the seat. “On the same seat? With you on it? Where am I going to sit then? There isn’t enough room for both of us.”

He seemed to think otherwise and told her to get in. She tried to get into the car, head first. That didn’t really work out. Then she tried going in backwards. Not the best way either, but somehow she managed to sit on the seat, still unsure of how she was going to drive.

He told her to move her feet so he could fit his in near the brakes. That meant she had nowhere to keep her own. After a lot of struggling she sat cross-legged on the seat, not knowing what to do. In doing so she accidentally elbowed him in the stomach and he let out a yelp.

She turned her face around and saw his face contorted in pain. She knew it wasn’t funny, but she burst out laughing at the hilariousness of the situation.

“Shut up, this isn’t funny,” he croaked, and tried not smile. But he eventually did. And both of them doubled over with laughter, in whatever little space they had.

She turned her face to him again, wanting to say sorry amidst the giggles. And out of no where, without any warning, he brought his face an inch closer and kissed her.

It was a soft gentle kiss. And it was over before she realized what had happened. She looked into his eyes, and smiled.

He grinned in his boyish way and said,” Boy. It’ll be awkward at work tomorrow, won’t it?”

The moment had passed.

They drove back home, talking all the while. But not about what had happened.

Back on her bed, she was smiling again. She loved what had happened that day and couldn’t shake off the feeling that came along with the memory. It didn’t mean much, she guessed. But she couldn’t wait for tomorrow so she could see him at work and decide for sure if it would be awkward.


Fast forwarding to the present, she thought about that day a year ago and even now, it brought a smile to her face. Only this time it was accompanied by tears rolling down her cheeks. Everything was different now.

That day after she and Sean had briefly kissed, she’d seen him at work. She’d waved at him from her desk but he hadn’t waved back. Maybe he hadn’t seen her. She mailed him, but no reply. All that day he hadn’t said a word to her. Even when the day had ended, there was nothing.

And so it was, the next day, the day after that, the week and the whole of that year. He never spoke to her after that day in the car. No explanations, no reasons- nothing. Every time she approached him he would make up an excuse about being busy, or simply refuse to talk.

She didn’t know what had happened, or why he wouldn’t talk to her. All she knew was that whatever they had had was over.

She cried softly, the tears smudging the writing on her book. Even after all this time, it still hurt. She missed him. But he’d never know. He was just a memory now. And she hoped that someday soon it would fade away, just like their friendship had.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Once upon a Time

She couldn’t believe it. Maybe she’d heard wrong. There had to be some mistake. He hadn’t said what she thought he’d said. Should she call him back and ask? Just to confirm? Because there was no way he would’ve done this to her. And definitely not over the phone. He couldn’t have been so callous.

And yet, somewhere in the distance she could hear those tiny voices whispering in her head. They were saying things she didn’t want to hear. Because they were wrong! He was wrong! He wasn’t a selfish person, and there was no chance in hell that he’d do something like this to her. Not after everything she’d done for him.

She sat at the edge of the bed in the hotel room, her hand still clutching the phone as if her life depended on it. May be it did. She didn’t want to seem like those desperate needy women who just wouldn’t let go. But she was a needy desperate woman! She needed him! Now, more than ever.

How could he choose to abandon her at this point in her life? How could he abandon her at all? Hadn’t he promised to be with her “through thickness and thin” and “in sickness and in health” till death do them part? What happened to all those vows that he had made, holding her hand, that he’d love her forever.

She glanced at the photo frame she’d brought along with her that stood on the night stand. It was a picture of both of them laughing like a bunch of kids. It was taken a couple of years ago on their trip to North-East India. It had been her gift to him for finally getting the job he’d tried for over six months. They’d gone for a walk with a tour guide in one of the numerous tea gardens in Darjeeling and her foot had slipped on the dew laden grass. He’d caught hold of her wrist as he’d lost his own footing and they’d both tumbled onto the grass. The moment had seemed hilarious at that time and the guide, sensing a ‘Kodak moment’ had taken a picture.

That seemed like two different people in a different life.

The picture only reminded her of one of the few times she’d given up her dreams for him. She’d studied to be a journalist. And she knew she was good at it. It was her life and there was nothing else she wanted to do. But the beginning of their married life had been financially low and she’d taken up a job at a BPO instead. It paid good money. It was as simple as that. When things had begun to look a little better, she’d heard about a magazine in her city that was looking for a fashion writer. She knew that now, with their life back on track, she could take this job. But he’d found another job in a Bigger city he’d said, and after many fights, she’d shifted with him to the new city. It was at that time that she’d surprised him with a week long trip to the north-east with part of the earnings from her previous work.

Once again, when life settled down, she took up another lifeless job just so that they could stay together. But all that time she had still been looking out for her dream job. She’d given so many interviews that she’d lost count. But nothing worked out in his supposedly ‘big city’.

She knew that her constant failure at nailing the perfect job was taking its toll on both of them. But she held on, trying everything she could.

Just when she’d thought things were at their worst, she’d gotten a call from a newspaper in a nearby city that was looking for a daily columnist. She knew she was perfect for it. Even though it meant spending almost six hours traveling everyday, she wanted to do it. She wanted to be happy and she needed it to make their lives happier.

Today had been her interview and she’d decided to spend the night in the city that would give her big break. She’d been so excited that she hadn’t noticed his subdued, almost indifferent, attitude as she’d left the house. She’d reached the press office in time and couldn’t wait till it was over. She knew she’d get this job. She knew this was the answer to their problems. Life would be the fairytale she’d always wanted.

But it hadn’t ended like she’d hoped. She hadn’t got the job. They were looking for someone with experience, not degrees, skills or passion.

She’d called him up just an hour ago to tell him that she hadn’t made it. She wanted to be with him, so he could’ve held her as she’d cried. She wanted him to tell her that everything would be ok.

But instead, he’d told her that it was over between them.

Why?

She wasn’t capable of finding a job that she wanted.

She was slowing him down.

She was becoming way too dependent on him.

She wasn’t hard working or dedicated to her work with the number of jobs she’d switched.

The voices in her head were getting louder now. They eluded any kind of emotional, pitiful or denial thoughts. They were screaming out loud now. They were saying things she should’ve said to him. They were demanding for answers that she couldn’t give but needed them just as much. They were counting off reasons why he had every reason to stay instead of abandoning her at a point in her life when he was all she had.

Tears failed to come. Because despite those uncontrollable voices, she was still in denial.

This moment seemed like something from one of those million Hollywood movies she’d seen. It sounded just as dramatic and over-the-top. She could almost picture herself in a scene. The situation seemed perfect for the movie. She looked like those depressed heroines waiting for the glycerin in their eyes to do its job. She could almost hear the soulful music in the background.

All she wanted to hear, more than anything she’d ever wished for, was for someone to yell “CUT!”